The Letter
by NeoVenus22
Summary: Seth's letter to Summer. Spoilers for "The Ties That Bind". [complete]


This is the first time I've ever done a fic for The OC. I just saw the season finale a couple of nights ago (finally), and felt inspired for this. Sorry if it sucks.

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Summer rang the Cohen's doorbell, all smiles. She was incredibly cheerful, even though her best friend and her boyfriend were in hell. She pretty much had to be cheerful, because they _were_ in hell. They needed her. When Seth had been selling his boat just to try and raise money for Theresa just because Ryan was his friend -- well, that had been the sweetest thing ever. And it had opened Summer's eyes to what being a friend really meant. She'd been a friend in the past, but it had never been needed as much as it was needed now.  
  
Kirsten Nichols-Cohen-Cooper, or whatever, answered the door looking sort of zombie-ish. Summer bit back a scathing remark, and then a second remark that was intended innocently but would most likely come off as scathing, as well. Kirsten's eyes opened slightly in recognition of the girl on her doorstep, and Summer noted that they were streaked with red, bloodshot pain. Ryan obviously meant a lot to all of the Cohens, not just Seth.  
  
"Hey, Mrs. Cohen, I was just coming by to see Seth…"  
  
Kirsten looked like she was on the verge of complete meltdown in about six seconds. "Oh, Summer…he's not…he…" She choked back a sob. "Come in."  
  
Confused, Summer followed the woman inside. Sandy Cohen was sprawled on the couch, and the slightest flicker of a smile came to his lips when he saw Summer, but he didn't speak, a rarity. "Sit," said Kirsten, and Summer sat. Confusion washed over her. Was this about Ryan? It couldn't be about the wedding, that had been, like, _hours_ ago.  
  
"Seth left this for you," Kirsten continued, and produced an envelope with her name scrawled across the front.  
  
"He left--wait, _what_?" said Summer.  
  
"Everything ought to be explained in there, I would think," said Kirsten, and she sank onto the couch, falling against her husband's chest, clearly without strength anymore.  
  
The envelope wasn't sealed, rather, the top flap was tucked in the pocket. Summer used her thumbnail to poke at the edge and pry the flap out. She pulled out the paper tucked inside, unfolded it, and read.  
  
_Dear Summer,  
  
By the time you read this, I'm going to be riding on the Summer Breeze, which sounds like the title of a really emo song, but it isn't, it's the name of my boat, which is named after you, but you knew all of that.  
  
See, it turns out that I couldn't sell my boat in time to help Ryan. And I'm really sorry about that, because he's my best friend and I want to help him. I'd do anything he asked, but he never asks. It's not the Ryan Atwood way. I wanted to help, but I couldn't, and maybe I never could, and maybe he didn't even want me to.  
  
But the point is, I'm gone. Hasta la vista, Newport. Where? I don't know. But I couldn't stay there. I have a house there, and I have family there, but I don't have a home there and I never did. Maybe for only a few seconds, a blink in my life span, but that's over and my eyes are open now.  
  
Summer, I love you, and I'm sorry for this, I really and truly am. It's not fair to you for me to say goodbye in a note. It's not fair to ask you to wait for me, when I can't even promise that I'll be back. At the moment, I don't ever want to see this place again, and not even you could make me stay. Between you and Ryan, Newport was beginning to be okay, but now he's gone and you can't shoulder the burden by yourself. And I don't want you to. You're probably better than all of that, if you just give yourself a chance to be. I don't want you to just keep being another Newport girl, because you're better than that, you always have been, that's why I've always liked you. You don't deserve to have to bear the weight of all of my insecurities and foibles.  
  
There's nothing you can do. There's nothing you should do, really, except for be there for Marissa. You two can commiserate together about how much Ryan and I suck. If I was there, it would be me and Marissa commiserating about how much Ryan sucks, and that's two against Ryan, whereas otherwise it'd be one against each of us, and the thing is, Ryan doesn't need two people hating him, because he's actually doing a good thing. A stupid, misguided thing, but a good thing.  
  
Give my parents hugs for me. I should have done that before I left, but I didn't want my mom to feel worse. She loves Ryan like a son, I know that, and losing two in one afternoon is too much for her. I'm an awful son, and an awful boyfriend, but I just can't take it there. Not just yet.  
  
I love you. I'm sorry.  
  
--Seth_  
  
Summer put the letter in her lap and stared at it. Her eyes had welled up while she'd read it, but she hadn't allowed the tears to fall, not just yet. She glanced over at the Cohens. Kirsten was sobbing openly now, huddled against Sandy. Summer got up, went over, and gave her boyfriend's mom a hug. "He's okay, you know," Summer found herself saying. "Cohen's an idiot for doing this, but he's other than that, he's pretty smart and stuff, and he'll be okay." She felt like a liar, because she didn't know if he would be okay or not. She didn't even know where he was.  
  
But the Cohens needed her now. And she needed them. All three of them needed Seth at the moment, but Seth was gone, and they only had each other. So Summer said what they wanted to hear. Seth had tried his best to be a true friend for Ryan, since he'd never had anyone to be a true friend to him in the past. And though he was breaking her heart at the moment, she wanted more than ever to finally show him what it meant to have friends.


End file.
